I started this blog in 2016 and found myself ‘doing life’ that I practically let it go into a vegetative state. In hindsight, I can’t even lay my finger on what happened but I have spent the last two years discovering my purpose. This is why the first topic as I return will be telling you about the things that I learnt about myself in 2018. I pray this encourages you.
The first thing is I realized that the old defense line ‘I’m just being careful/I want to be sure about this’ is another name for timidity also known as fear. The song ‘No Longer Slave to Fear’ by Bethel came alive for me during this time. It showed me how timid I’d been, masking it with fake confidence which people saw as me having it together! Pssst, I did not! A light bulb moment starting 2019 was reading one of my favorite singers Jonathan McReynold’s blog where he wrote exactly what I was feeling for the most part that “A lack of confidence often still LOOKS like overconfidence”. You can read it here.
It was a shock but as soon as I could answer the question ‘there are many people doing this already; what would be different about me?’ I could honestly restart my journey. It isn’t about other people already doing those things but about God giving everyone a different grace for their own assignment.
Lesson 1: Identify your assignment, stay in your lane and rely on God.
As soon as I realized this, I gained wings and momentum. I also realized like a friend said on New Year day, God has been ready and waiting and now you are ready! Let me start from the beginning.
The biggest deterrent to my dream was FEAR!
Fear, according to the dictionary; is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger (I’m going to insert failure here) whether the threat of failure is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Some more synonyms for fear are fright, dread, terror, horror, panic, alarm, trepidation, apprehension. In the simplest form, your mind playing tricks on you! The mind is a powerful tool, it can lock you down and paralyze you and conversely, it can be your biggest cheerleader.
I look back at my life and realize that what were lost opportunities were lost because I was TIMID! I was timid because I was afraid and I was more afraid and frozen of the idea of failure; and that was enough to paralyze me to not even think about the possibility of me succeeding in what I set out to do?!
Timidity will make you lose interest in ‘opportunities’ that you should literally jump at. Interest, on the other hand will make you hold on to opportunities and that will keep you engaged long enough to look deeper and see more opportunities even in the seemingly ‘little’ things.
Lesson 2: If God gives you the idea, He will bring provision.
We always think everything we need has to be ready before we embark on the journey to our dreams. I believe in ‘God-connections’; that as you put everything concerning your dreams in God’s hands – He’ll begin to bring people your way and order your steps; and arrange things in order to make the dream become a reality. That is another topic for another day.
Take the first step and you will begin to discover ways that this ‘dream’ will happen. Sometimes, just an awareness of your dream can cause someone to become interested in supporting it financially. Someone mentioning you to another can open a door of support that will lead to others and so on and so forth. You see where I’m going to with this?
Lesson 3: Write down your vision.
I love the Amplified version of this scripture Habakkuk 2:2
“Then the LORD answered me and said, “Write the vision And engrave it plainly on [clay] tablets So that the one who reads it will run.
In other words, write it down so you don’t forget it. Write it down so it is a point of reference for you. And you can add, subtract and check off things as you accomplish them.
My NOW (Night of Worship) 2018 Testimony
I released my first single ‘Yahweh’ in 2016 but my heart was not in sync with what God was doing; so, it didn’t go anywhere. Most of 2017 and 2018 was spent with a hunger for God’s presence. I have seen the answer to that prayer in multiple folds!
In October 2018, we had the Night of Worship concert where I ministered along with the phenomenal Dr. Sonnie Badu and my amazing brother Thobbie and it was awesome!!!!!! That was when my jump start began and it’s been surreal. In a nut shell, that’s what I’ve been up to the last 2 years and it is good to be back!
I asked for a new fire in my worship for 2019; I ask the same for you. Much more than was experienced in the years past. I invite you to come on this journey with me, I promise it will bless you!!!!!